Tuesday Troubles aka- I probs shouldn't be blogging about this.

Hello, New World.

That should sum it up- this is my first post EVER to not greet you with enthusiasm. 

Well. Today was the culmination of the past... long time.... and all its stresses. 

That's right new world, I took a (borderline mandatory) mental health day today. 

I'll save you all the rant of "woe is me, I'm a teacher and I work 9-3 and get 3 months plus breaks off"... I think you all know me and my colleagues well enough to NEVER say that in our presence. Not only teachers... time is valuable to EVERYONE. And I mean EVERYONE- even if we are single without kids! (That rant is for another day, New World. :P)  If you are still wondering how I could possibly be stressed from glorified babysitting 6 hours a day... ask Heffe. He'll explain to you in grave detail what a work-a-holic bear I've been lately.

This may be news to you (ha!), but Sciato has very high expectations for herself, and doesn't let herself slack off much. She struggles a LOT of the time to maintain work-life balance. I have conversations with my teammates that go something like, "When my home life is perfect and my house is clean, my school life is chaotic," or "My home life is in shambles... but I feel prepared for work!"... I really need to work on figuring out that balance... but ultimately, this constant battle to successfully maintain all different categories of my life (and yes, for my life, they need to remain different categories... sue me, I want my personal life to stay personal) is NEVER going to be okay in my book.

With that being said, I lose balance often. Things seem to pile up all at once. I take it out on EVERYONE around me...and I take it out the worst on the people who are closest to me. Heffe. My team. My family and friends don't get the quality time they deserve. I take it out on MySELF, and eat fast food, drink lots of wine, and skip the gym. I lead myself into the pit of despair... becoming the worst version of myself... It's been going on for about 2 weeks now. 

If you're still having trouble picturing this... think Jessie Spano. 

All fun and games, right? But seriously. Girlfriend has a point. There's never enough time.

So today, I committed to catching myself up on things I needed to... which I did, and I feel much more centered and balanced. If nothing else... I feel better and calmer for NOW. 

But mostly... I reset my outlook. 

Like my least favorite country band, Sugarland, says, "I believe happiness is something we create," I did that today. I dug deep to find and dig myself out of the cave, and lift myself back into the light. I am so blessed and thankful to have people in EVERY "category" of my life who care enough about me to have those difficult conversations to knock some sense back into stubborn, anxious, sometimes unreasonable Sciato.

Now, New World, I'm not going to keep going on this pity train. I've picked myself up.

Have you ever felt like this before? What do you do to cope? I mean REALLY cope. Alcohol, taco bell, and tears only get Sciato so far. :) We gotta help each other out, New World!!

So. Until next time... Thank you, New World, for keeping Sciato honest... and for putting up with Scary Sciato's borderline nervous breakdown... and for reading and listening and believing- both in me, and that there really is a light at the end of the tunnel. :)

Until next time. 

This is me, bein me. :)

Cheers:)