Happy HMAC Thursday!

Hello, New World!

I feel it is only necessary to begin tonight's blog with that quote. It's summer. It's fall. It's humid. It's windy. I don't look pretty. 

Newsflash, New World. 

HMAC is back!

For those that don't know, HMAC is the name I get when my not-so-alter-ego-as-of-late takes over and I become "impotent and out of control" like Cher from Clueless. Hot Mess Anissa Casciato can only come out in true bursts of emotion, genius and/or crazy. I feel sorry for the people I came into contact with today. Scratch that. I'm LAUGHING WITH the people I came into contact with today... as we all laugh AT me. HMAC. 

My goodness for today comes from my ability to sit back and honestly laugh at myself. It's been awhile since I've been able to do that without immediately bursting into uncontrollable sobs. Give me some props, New World!

1. During school, we had a team meeting that was being taped for the staff. I could SERIOUSLY not get a word out without stuttering and losing my cool, and when I couldn't find the words to speak, my larger than life 14 year old girl acne was there to stand up for me... large and in charge of my face. 

2. I literally FORGOT I had a sub coming in my room today so I could do reading testing. I felt like a FREAK when I tried to explain my lesson plans to her. Granted, I bet she's seen worse than me subbing for districts all over... but I still felt pretty scattered after thinking of our interactions today.

3. I totally pissed my pants and forgot who I was today at work... clearly... on top of 1 and 2, I was forgetting passwords, could BARELY carry on conversations with my colleagues... Only explanation- HMAC.

4. For the second night in a row, had to change my numbering as I'm typing this blog because I apparently can't count past 3. 

5. I was running a million errands today after work, including "running into" Target. One cannot simply "run into Target". I went in for 1 THING. Came out with a dress (that actually made me look like a hot mess when I got home and tried it on), a tshirt, and make up remover. While in my frenzied "run" throughout Target, I excused myself from a Target employee to reach and grab the tshirt. When I came back through the shirt section on my way out of the dress section, the said Target employee asked me if I had lost my phone. I immediately panicked. Leaving my phone in undisclosed locations is a top fear for me. I looked in my purse, and sure enough, in my Target/Mad Hatter's Tea Party for one, I had left my phone somewhere, and this woman was kind enough to pick it up, recognize me, and pick up the pieces of my Hot Mess.  Nothing short of a miracle here, people!!!

6. One of my other errands tonight was to FedEx to do some printing. I brought my flash drive, waited for about 20 minutes while someone printed what looked like band flyers, while other customers were making awkward small talk with each other, while I perused Instagram (since I had not yet lost the stupid phone that holds the keys to my life)... finally, I had all my copies, and left. I then continued to run errands, and at the end, since FedEx is open the latest, went back to use their industrial paper cutter. I cut what I needed to, and then went home. Finally!!!! Not. I looked at my computer on the kitchen table where I had left it, and immediately realized I had left my flash drive at FedEx about 3 hours ago... and then 10  minutes ago since I was back again. Frick. Double Frick. I dropped ALL my bags, and got back into my car. Thankfully, FedEx is pretty close to home. When I got there, for the THIRD TIME TODAY, my flashdrive was in tact, but now I'm currently panicking and will be checking all of its contents promptly after I publish this post. 

Sheesh. I'm a DISASTER sometimes!!!!! LOL Can't make this stuff up, New World. Can't make it up. :) 

When Heffe finally got home tonight, he had brought with him this: 

Yes. Flowers, champagne, and Taco Bell. Tomorrow is our 2 month anniversary ;) #enoughwiththeromance :) :) :) :) #cantstopwontstop 

"I love this crazy, tragic, almost magic, awful, beautiful life.." 

Until next time:)

With my glass raised to Murphy's Law

 Cheers. :)